CANNES!! Days 5-6!

Our Lady of Glamour returns! AISHWARYA RAI IS BACK! Rocking an classic, hour glass, Mad Men style that I highly approve of.

Monday Gossip: Rocking a sweet Ghostbusters hat.

Good morning! So, who actually went out to see Aurangzeb? Not too many, apparently, since box office wasn't too good. By all accounts, the blame doesn't lie with Arjun Kapoor but with Aditya Chopra and Yash Raj - the reason I didn't go.

Cannes Day 5

A piece from Reuters on how India is trying to ditch the "Bollywood" tag at Cannes. Nothing new but I thought this statistic was interesting:

In 2011 India saw a 42 percent jump in the number of Hollywood movies shot there with several Hollywood studios such as Disney, News Corp's Fox, and Sony entering deals with or buying stakes in Indian companies.

There has also been a surge in the number of Hollywood movies released in India, where 3.6 billion film tickets were sold last year. Hollywood studios have been releasing their films in India simultaneously with their North American releases and also dubbing films in various regional Indian languages.

Snap of the Bombay Talkies crew courtesy of Karan Johar's twitter feed.

The only story today is Ugly promotions from Anurag Kashyap.

It’s a terrible tale of corruption, indifference, and systemic violence, shot full of a wicked, black humour. When the father and his friend approach the police to register the child’s disappearance, there is a meandering, cruelly drawn-out scene that comes straight out of absurdist theatre. Kafka’s influence on Kashyap is very evident in this remarkably crafted and acted scene.

You know, it's odd. Last night I watched the inconsequential but pleasant Mere Dad Ki Maruthi. What really separates a film like Ugly from one like Mere Dad Ki Maruthi? Aren't they just two sides of the same coin? A lost car and a lost girl. Only one is optimistic at the end, full of belief in consumer culture, with no time for old men's complaints about corruption. (Like literally, there is a very funny sequence where the Hero mocks his father and uncles for rambling on about it over their whiskey.)

I'm not sure what my point is here but the Kafka mention got me thinking about some other reading I did this week. It's all well and good to rage against the machine but if the only people you're raging to agree with you but have cynically accepted whatever it is you're raging against, what's the point but a big circle jerk? Yesterday I also happened to be reading about the modern day slavery that exists in places like Immokalee, Florida and when I went to the grocery store, all I could see was blood and sweat and tears covering every strawberry and leaf of lettuce. And I paid a dollar more for organic, not that it wasn't the same people picking both but we all felt that good left-wing righteousness, I'm sure, with our organic strawberries.

Actually, going back to the first piece, do you know what my dream project from Anurag Kashyap is? I think I've said this before but I would love to see an American encounter film made for mainstream global audiences based on the Wounded Knee Incident. How badass would that be? Kashyap flipping the tables and pulling a reverse Danny Boyle to make a film about how badly Americans screwed our own indigenous population.

Back to more glamour tomorrow with Aishwarya making her appearance!

CANNES Day 3-4!

The big excitement of the day apparently occurred when some douchnozzle fired blanks into a crowd, causing a huge panic.

Oh, right. And there was a massive jewel heist.

Because the world is going to shit and not even the glamour of Cannes is safe.

Anyways.

There were no snaps of big Bolly stars, but instead we had the premiere of Monsoon Shootout!

CANNES DAY 2!

First of all, I can't get enough of this outfit, okay?! YOU MAKE IT WORK, BIG B!

Friday Post: *shares Significant Look with Ranveer Singh*

Cannes, Cannes, Cannes... I'm loving the fuss but not everybody is excited:

It is fine to insist, as some do, that international film festivals and their awards are of little consequence. If that is indeed so, let’s also please ban the Bollywood-rules-Cannes blather that we are forced to endure each year. If high-brow global cinema is pretentious, then let’s not use it as an excuse for low-brow publicity for the likes of Sherlyn Chopra who breathlessly claims, “I can’t wait to doll up in various Indian avatars to promote the epic film at the most prestigious film festival.”

The ‘epic film’ that Ms Chopra will be unveiling at Cannes: The second trailer — of Kamasutra 3D.

Okay, okay. Point taken.

But what if I enjoy the seeing Ms Chopra all dolled up and posing next to Audrey Tautou because the low brow-high brow contrast?

CANNES DAY 1!!!! Are you ready for FASHION OVERLOAD!

First up... Great Gatsby! I love how Amitabh is enjoying his moment in the Hollywood sunshine. And why not, dude. He's certainly earned himself a victory lap or two. The Big B don't have to prove himself to nobody.

And let's take a moment to admire the fine Cannes Fashion Moment of a powder blue 1970s style jacket belted under the belly, with white slacks and white loafers, since he's being cropped out of most of the American and Western press photos.

Thursday Post: Just one puff...

A non-fashion Cannes update! Remakes of Rambo and the Expendables among others, have been announced. How many signs of the Apocalypse have there been this week already? Does this make seven?

“We believe by officially remaking these titles we can maximize the fan following these titles have enjoyed over the years as they will surely be record breaking box-office draws when remade for Indian audiences,” [Samir Gupta of WaterFront Films (part of Cinema Capital Venture Fund)] said.

Why? WHY?! Not that the story of Rambo wouldn't make a good foundation of a masala film but who is the audience for a remake like this? Shouldn't they be looking for "adaptation" rather than "remake"?

CANNES 2013! ARE YOU READY?!

First up we have Sonam Kapoor and Freida Pinto... are they friends? Frenemies? Do they ignore each other as soon as the cameras go away? Who can say.

Snap is courtesy Sonam's instragram page, which apparently I need to check more often because in between the selfies and snaps of food she isn't going to eat there are gems like this:

Selfies with Bebo! Probably posted because she makes Bebo look short and fat and rather ungainly... you know Kareena wouldn't let this out. How much would I love to hang out with this crew?! And by hang out, I mean follow around and observe all the petty bickering brought on by hunger and too much air-conditioning.

And here is our Vidya reporting for Jury Duty in the 2013 equivalent of a sensible frock... or am I missing something. She looks too matronly. More oomph or more glamour. Or both, please, madam. This is Cannes, darling!

Wednesday Post: If every word in my post was replaced letter by letter...

Happy Birthday to Madhuri Dixit!

Koimoi has 10 things to love about Madhuri:

My painting teacher once told me the story of world famous painter M.F Hussain’s eloquent love for Madhuri. Labelling her as his muse, she personified the epitome of womanhood for this celebrated painter. Hussain went on to cast Madhuri in one of his films, based on the painting that drew inspiration from the persona of the actress. It is rumored that the painter had watched Madhuri’s 1994 blockbuster 67 times and when she returned to acting in 2007, he booked an entire hall to watch Aaja Nachle all by himself!

Mid-Day has a couple more images up of her item with Ranbir. YOU JUST KNEW WHAT WOULD MAKE ME GO TO THIS STUPID FILM, DIDN'T YOU, DHARMA! Well, who knows. Maybe the trailers are deceiving and it's not yet another film about a boy who doesn't know what (Hollywood-style rom-com) love is and has it taught to him by a girl whose only purpose in live (apparently) is to provide (Hollywood-style rom-com) love tutions.

Tuesday Post: Brrrrr... I mean Brrrr...tles.

Good mornings! We've hit a bit of a cold spell here... it's been FREEZING COLD! IN MAY! As a great man once said: *brrrrrrrrr*

Speaking of *brrrrrrrr* - Americans! Go have some Penn Jillette ice cream, which is delicious and only available this week. I think I've mentioned before that I'm a huge Penn & Teller fan. Actually, I'm mostly a Teller fan, BUT I like Penn, too. His podcast is always worth listening to for old show biz stories and his theories on entertaining, which are wonderful. Penn always surprises. Plus he's from my home state of Massachusetts!

Anyways. Americans. Penn ice cream. It's delicious. I'm not getting paid for this. Listen to his podcast.